Expand Your Window of Tolerance to Manage Stress

For leaders who want the opposite of fluffy self-care advice

Aug 30, 2023

expand your window of tolerance to manage stress

Stress, pressure, and emotional turbulence are inevitable in leadership roles. What varies is your capacity to handle them, known as your ‘Window of Tolerance.’ For founders and CEOs, expanding this window not only enhances your resilience but also sets a precedent for team well-being and a healthier organizational culture.

Where do you start?

Start by Locating Yourself in Your Window of Tolerance

With the help of the illustration above, take a moment to assess where you usually operate in relation to your Window of Tolerance:

When you’re in your Window of Tolerance, what characteristics or behaviors stand out? How does this state affect your leadership and decision-making?
Where do you find yourself most often: within your Window of Tolerance, in the Hyperarousal zone, or in the Hypoarousal zone?
What triggers or situations push you into Hyperarousal? What sensations or thoughts do you experience in this zone?
Conversely, what leads you into Hypoarousal? How does your body and mind react when you’re in this state?

Manage Your Body Like a Budget

Expanding your Window of Tolerance goes hand-in-hand with understanding your body budget, a concept brilliantly articulated by Lisa Feldman Barrett. Imagine your body as an account, with essential resources like water, salt, and glucose. Activities like facing intense stress or handling challenging negotiations are withdrawals, depleting your account. On the other hand, self-care measures like sleep, nutritious meals, or even a mindful breathing exercise act as deposits.

Importantly, your body budget isn’t just about physical actions or needs. It’s intricately connected to your emotional state, encompassing feelings of stress, excitement, and even physical discomfort. When your body budget is overdrawn, you’re more likely to find yourself in the zones of Hyperarousal or Hypoarousal, outside of your Window of Tolerance.

Understanding your body budget offers actionable insights into how you can expand your Window of Tolerance. Are you constantly overdrawn? Are there chronic stressors pushing you into Hyperarousal? Identifying these elements and working on balancing your ‘account’ can help you spend more in your Window of Tolerance, fostering more effective leadership and a healthier team.

Assess and Expand Your Window of Tolerance Through Body Budgeting

I challenge you to critically assess how different aspects of your life either contribute to or detract from your “body budget,” and by extension, your Window of Tolerance. This exercise helps you identify stressors that push you into states of Hyperarousal or Hypoarousal and gives you actionable strategies for staying in your Window of Tolerance.

Here's what to do:

1. Create a Body Budget Grid

First Column: "Life Area or Person"
Second Column: Deposit (Credit)"
Third Column: "Withdrawal (Debit)"
Fourth Column: "Notes

2. Define Life Areas or Significant People

Under "Life Area or Person," list the following rows:
- “Close Friendships”, “Work”, “Partner, Spouse, or Romantic Life”, “Hobbies”, “Finances”, and “Lifestyle (exercise, food, self-care)”, “Family”, “World/News/Social”.
Feel free to edit or expand these rows as you see fit.

3. Evaluate Deposits and Withdrawals

Go through each area or person. Assess what percentage they contribute as a deposit or withdrawal to your body budget. Jot down notes about what specifically creates these deposits or withdrawals.

4. Calculate Your Balance

Get an overview. Are you running a deficit or do you have a surplus? Are there any areas causing habitual withdrawals that push you outside your Window of Tolerance?

5. Create a Strategy

Identify actionable steps for making more deposits and fewer withdrawals. The goal is to expand your Window of Tolerance by better managing your body budget.

Dive Deeper Into the Mechanisms of Stress, Resilience, and Emotional Intelligence

I highly recommend the following reads:

"How Emotions Are Made" by Lisa Feldman Barrett — Not just a book about emotions, but a deep dive into how our brains construct our emotional experiences. Understanding this can expand your Window of Tolerance, providing you with the tools to better manage stress and emotional highs and lows. If you’re intrigued by the science of the mind, this is a must-read.
"Dare to Lead" by Brené Brown — This isn’t just about leading; it’s about leading with emotional resilience. Brown offers actionable strategies to embrace vulnerability and expand your emotional range, which in turn broadens your Window of Tolerance. This book is a roadmap for any founder or CEO looking to lead from a place of authentic strength.

Building Your Resilience Through an Expanded Window of Tolerance

Handling stress and emotional challenges is not just a part of leadership—it’s a defining aspect of it. Expanding your Window of Tolerance isn’t a “nice to have,” it’s a “need to have'' for anyone at the helm of an organization. By taking actionable steps to widen this window, you’re not only enhancing your own resilience but also contributing to a culture of emotional intelligence and well-being within your team.

I’m eager to hear about your progress and discoveries as you navigate this topic. Feel free to share your insights, breakthroughs, or even stumbling blocks in the comments. We’re all on this journey together.